Saturday, October 25


The cast of characters is changing.

I only have four Fairyland dolls now. (Well, I will only have 4, as soon as the Karsh and the M-line girl body have sold. The Chloe head is already gone.)

Who's staying:
MNF Luka in Tan
MNF Ante
LTF Ante Elf
LTF Lisa in White

What happened??
I realized that my life journey is on the other side of the hill now. And that I spent too much time obsessing over dolls the last six years of it. Will it matter in another 15 years? No. So why am I spending energy and resources on something that isn't really going to make me a better person in the end. Do I need to keep adding dolls and creating stories that aren't personally important to me? No. I loved Alaska and Jake, and Fawn and Jace, but ultimately, those characters don't mean much to me, not the way that Harley and Crow do, while they are my fan fic of Twlight, they are also something more. Harley encompasses so much of myself, and Crow, too. They are part of my real life, part of an alternate life, and part fantasy.

So here's the question: How does this all play out?

And here's the list of questions I am asking myself to figure out the answer:

Does the Ante become Harley?
Does Crow change his name to Jacob (since that's really who he's based on)?
Do I rewrite the Harley and Crow story, with both of them falling in love for the first time? OR Do I say that Harley has died, give Crow about 5 years (in story time, not real time) to grieve and become a hermit, and then introduce the Ante as someone else, maybe with her own baggage, but still a fairly young character who is able to break Crow out of his self-isolation?
I hate to kill off a character, but I don't know how else I could explain Harley's leaving. And the death of an S. O. is pretty intense.

Right now I'm leaning toward changing both of their names, having the Crow/Jacob character (who has sworn off all relationships after a really bad breakup) meet the Ante (who is young, has had a little experience in love) and continue on from there with miscommunication, etc. until there is a final resolution in a happy ending.

Saturday, October 18

Jace and Fawn: The Story Gets Told

Hi!! dad said it was okay to just walk down and see you.....are you sure it's okay to be in your bedroom?

Yeah, yeah, come in. Leave the door open if you're more comfortable that way. Come in and sit next to me. 

Sorry...I'm at this....

Your hair is different. 

Yeah, I put a pink wash in it. 


It looks nice, and smells like strawberries. 

*giggles* That's the shampoo I use. 

Your bed is really cozy. I could fall asleep here. 

Yeah, sometimes I do, when I am reading or doing homework. ready to tell me the story?

It's not sweet....or easy. 

I know. I mean it made you do this. *looks at his scars*

My father is very high up in the elf council. Everyone thinks he's this really great guy and everyone was always telling me how proud I must be of him and how lucky I am to be his son. But that wasn't really the case. He was two sided. I mean he had this one persona for the public and a very different one for my mom, sister, and me. He wasn't physically abusive, but it was all mental, you know. Emotional abuse and control. He needed to be in absolute control of everything. And then when I was ten, my mom died in a plane accident. And then he got even worse. I mean....he even told you how long you could be in the bathroom. My sister couldn't take it anymore. He found the bathtub...blood everywhere.  My father made me tell everyone she had an aneurism. He even convinced the medical examiner to write it on her death certificate. That's the kind of power he held. And I guess everyone felt bad for him, since he had lost a wife and a daughter.  After that I started cutting myself, because I couldn't tell anyone what happened, how she really died.

Oh Jace, wow. I'm so sorry. 

She was older than me, and I didn't know what to do. I felt so trapped. Then Rose came to me. She's my dream child. You know about them, right?

*nods her head*

So she came to me, because she knew I needed her to survive. She would cry every time I cut myself, it was like through the cutting and the tears, I was releasing all the pain and anger I had inside. Eventually, I realized I didn't want to spend the rest of my life cutting, so I ran away. That first night away from home was the first night I didn't cut. And I haven't since, even when I want to. But it's hard, I feel like there's so much unresolved, and I feel so helpless, and I wonder if running away was the right thing to do. But what was the point in staying? 

Jace, I think you are very lucky you are alive. You could have gone out the way your sister did. But instead you are here, with me. 

So, anyway, that's my very big pile of baggage. So I've had a really messed up life. I have no idea what normal is, but I hope to find out some day. So anyway, if you don't want to be with me, I can totally understand. You're so sweet and innocent and young, and you don't need anything that dark in your life. 

I want to be with you. It's your baggage, but you know, maybe I can help lighten the load. And while I don't claim to know normal either, being around my family might be a really great thing for you. 

You sure you..and they...want to deal with me?

Yeah, I'm sure. It's not your fault,  you know. 

I know.... worries. I'm here, and my family is, too. 


Did you know Jace's story? Oh, duh, of course you did! 

*Rose smiles*

Do you think they know we've met yet?

No, I think it's going to be a surprise

I'm glad you came over with him today. 

Me too. 

We can be best friends, if you want. 


And sisters later...if they...

Yes! We're going to be inseparable! 

Tuesday, September 23

Jace and Fawn: First Date

Hey, I had a lot of fun tonight. I didn't even know they had free movies at the university.

yeah, well they are usually art movies, but still.....

*reaches out for his hand and notices the scars on his wrist and pulls the shirt sleeve up*

Whoa, what's this? What happened? Oh....did you do this?


I did it again, didn't I? I always say the wrong thing or bring up the wrong subject when I'm with you. 

Hey, don't say that. You just have a way of touching on  the dark stuff in my life. And...and your so sweet and innocent,... I don't want....I don't want to taint you with it. 

*reaches out to hug him* You're not going to taint me. I'm unbelievably good. this the part where um....I kiss you. 


You smell so good.

Come on I better get you home. 

Saturday, September 20

Jace and Fawn: The Third Degree'd it go last night?

Hey! You shouldn't sneak up on people. 


It was really nice. 

Did they ask about your past?

Nope! They just asked me about the coffee shop. 

Fawn has two little sisters.  So you know....when I tell them about you...

I can play with them! That would be awesome. 

And when you get married, they can be my sisters. And...

Whoa, slow down.

*kiss* See you later.



So....did he kiss you?

No, nosey, he's really shy. I think I might even have to kiss him first.

Wow, really? I thought boys always did the kissing first. 

Nope! They don't. Sometimes the boy is shy and the girl does the kissing first. And I think this might be the case here. 

What's kissing like?

It's soft and warm, and if you close your eyes you feel like you are floating away, especially if you kiss at night, under the stars. And if the moon is out, too, it's even better!

Are you going to marry him, 'cause if you don't, I will! 


Well, he's cute! And he's nice like Daddy. 

Twig, don't be silly, you're only 4 and Jace will be an old man by the time you are old enough. And anyway, Fawn hasn't even gone on an official date with him yet. Right, Fawn?

Right, and anyway, we don't want to scare him off, because we want him to come back and visit us a lot, okay Twig? Because I really like him a lot, but you can't tell him, because he needs to realize it slowly. Otherwise he might run away. He's like a deer that way. 

So maybe his name should be Buck. 

*eye rolls all around*

Can we play family now, and I get to be the baby?

You are already the baby. 

For ever and ever. 


Hey Jace, I had a really nice time last night. Hope you did, too. Talk to you soon. 

Whew, I didn't blow it. I think she likes me.

Thursday, September 18

Jace and Fawn: First Conversation



Hey, I didn't know there were other elf clans around here. 

My clan isn't around here and what other clan? Excuse me for saying so, but you don't look like an elf. 

Oh yeah (laughs), no pointy ears. I'm not officially an elf but my adoptive father and my sisters are. So I've been raised in a mostly elf family. So....anyway, what are you doing here then,,,if your clan isn't here? Attending University?

Uh...something like that. 

Oh, does your family ever visit you, because if they do they could meet my family and then my clan, and really feel -you know- welcome. Or do you always go back there to visit?

Uh...they don't come here. 

Oh well, okay. So what classes are you taking? I finished high school a year early, so I'm taking college classes now. I love my humanities and language classes. What about you? Do you have an area of study yet?

Er...I haven't... um.....actually started taking classes yet....I'm just working to get some money first.

Don't you want to go back home and work there? I mean, I would be so lonely without my family and clan. 

It's not home to me anymore. 

Okay, I'll just shut up now that I stuck both feet in my mouth and my hands, too. 


What? It's true!

I'm just picturing you with you hands and feet in your mouth. And don't worry about it. I had to leave my family, which forced me to leave my clan, and that's just how it  is. Now I'm just kind of making it through, trying to figure out what to do. 

Wow! I'm really sorry. You must think I'm just some stupid little girl. I assumed all elf families were the same, and only human families had really bad problems.

*turns bright red* No, I don't think you are a stupid little girl. 

Can we start over?


Hi, I'm Fawn.

Nice to meet you Fawn, I'm Jace. 

Hi Jace. 

So, would you like to come over to my house and meet my pet deer?

You have a pet deer?

Not really, no, but we could go for a walk in the woods and then you could stay for dinner, we're having tacos, and play a board game or something....if you don't mind my two little sisters crawling all over you and giving you the third degree. 


Good. I live in the little blue house at the end of Birch Lane. Why don't you swing by around 5:30?


See you then. 


And just for fun, the three sisters:

Fawn doesn't have the correct eyes. I've got a lighter tan pair coming in for her. And I think Twig needs a band trim. 

Wednesday, September 17


It never rains but it pours. At least that's the way it seems with dolls and me. I received a Sarang event head in the mail today, and she is definitely going on the Leekeworld art body when it comes in. Her name is Aoife. Because she lives in a different universe from the rest of my Fairyland gang, she's going to have a blog of her own here: Aoife in Love
I have messaged a face up artist, but I don't want to jinx it, so I won't tell you who until I get a confirmation that I've gotten on the list. I'm nervous, she's so perfect right now, I don't want her to get messed up with the wrong face up.

Friday, September 12

Meet Violet

She arrived today. I am her fourth owner! And I plan on keeping her forever! She's from the first release of LTF Ante Elves. I even got her in the little pink box with the pink satin zippered bag. (Pics in my flickr account if you want to see: 

She's a bit yellowed but not too much, just definitely not the color of new resin. I spied her on flickr and doa and realized she had the original default face up, which is slightly darker and a little different from the current default face up. 

I feel really lucky to have been able to buy her. It used up my paypal funds, but oh well, that just means I'll have to sell more doll clothes, lol. She has she sleeping faceplate, too, so she and Rose will be able to take lazy afternoon naps together. She's just perfect, and exactly what I want in an Ante Elf. 


What she looked like when I found her: